My big sister died.
Sian was my fiancé’s sister, but we were close. She always called me her little sister. She was going to be one of my bridesmaids. And she died. We won’t know what happened until November, but we think she had a Diabetic Hypo in her sleep and was too knocked out on her medication to wake up to fix it.
She’s fucking gone forever, and I am having so much trouble dealing with it. Sometimes it just feels normal, she lived in London and we never really knew when we were next going to see her, but on other occasions it really hits me and I can’t do anything. I literally just sit there crying, which I hate. She got over ED-DMT1 (diabulimia) because she saw how much it hurt her family, but now she’s gone. All that hard work making herself better gave her a few more years, but no were near enough.
I always worried that my Grandad wouldn’t make it to the wedding (it’s not til 2012), it never once crossed my mind that she wouldn’t be there. She was amazing, the best friend and sister I could have asked for.
In Florida we promised to get friendship bracelets, so that’s what I’m doing now - looking for one that can go with Sian and one I can wear, always.
So torn up right now.
